Thursday, May 6, 2010


Well Happy May 7th...which is apparently NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY. (It's May 6th according to one set of atheist bloggers, but everyone else seems to be in agreement for the 7th) AND May is National Masturbation MONTH! That's right folks!! A whole MONTH of Masturbation starting tomorrow!

Now many of you are probably already celebrating national maturbation month...some by choice, others not so married people. But hey! There's nothing wrong with masturbation. I quite enjoy it. I like it alone, or with a friend or seven. It can be just as good as sex (especially with a friend) and you dont have to worry about pesky things like STD's or creepy babies. You also dont have to worry about relationships, or mood swings, or feelings, or your parents, or school, or your bills, or a deity of some sort, nope. Nada. Not even the recession can slow masturbation down. It's even more carefree and enjoyable than medical marijuana. In fact, it's so great, they made a holiday for it. YEP! Happy masturbation day folks. Lube up those hands, or your favorite mechanical or old school toy and get going!!

BUT WAIT! Just like everything in life, balance is key. If you are new to may need a few cautionary warnings:

1. You CAN masturbate too much! 10 times a day aint gonna kill ya but it can give you ladies an infection and can cause irritation and chaving for men and women. So keep it to a reasonable 1-4 times a day and listen to your own body. If it hurts or burns alot, it's probably time to quit.

2. Cleanliness IS next to Godliness. CLEAN YO SHIT. Clean your hands, toys, Vaginer, Peni, your underoos, your bed, EVERYTHING! Use a mild soap and gently clean all bit and bobs before AND after entering the ring!

3. PEE! After you do the deed. Go urinate (preferably in a toilet but to each his own). This will help clean out any bacteria that may have entered the body.

4. DO NOT TRY THIS AT WORK! Okay I wouldn't but if you do, let me know b/c that sounds very exciting!

5. HAVE FUN! That's what National Masturbation Day is all about!

Feel free to email/comment your Masturbation Day Stories!
Till next time sinners.
Your MC GV


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